I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize