I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
