Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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