I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
