tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize