Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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