the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
