You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize