Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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