So drunk its hurt
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
