I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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