When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Randomize
