i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
