Did you just see the Batmobile???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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