She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
50% drunk capacity currently
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
