I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
