Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i've created a new STD.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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