As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
