Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
