I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
