yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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