I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is wine microwaveable?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
