Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
