Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
