Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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