The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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