theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
