How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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