Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
