thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
