I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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