Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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