just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
