Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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