Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
