I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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