All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
