remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize