yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
