She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
