Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
