There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
