well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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