so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize