I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
