My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
well I can't set my house on fire every night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
