can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
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