So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They are going to name an STD after you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
