Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
