Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
