Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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