Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
