Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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