I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
