so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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