with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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