Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
