It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
